Re-Presenting The Icon

"Relationships Unfiltered" A New Book By Andrew Root

In his latest book, "Relationships Unfiltered", Andrew Root challenges Youth Workers to re-examine their motives for building relationships with youth. As a Youth Worker I've always known that relationships are the key. For many of us as Youth Workers our reasoning could go something like this, " In order to get students to behave better, we must build genuine relationships with them." However, according to Root this is precisely the problem, "While our motives may be good, it's possible that by focusing on these goals, we're not ministering to the whole person. When we choose not to engage in the full life of a teen, we run the risk of failing them and our ministry." I must admit, when meeting with teens the temptation to use them as stats for my success is a very present reality. When they make good decisions I come out looking really good and everyone knows that I know what I'm doing. However, this year I faced the challenge of meeting with students who continued to make poor decisions. I remember being frustrated and even saying to one, "if you continue to go this route, I'm not going to meet with you anymore." A couple of weeks later his dad called to inform me that his son had once again made a terrible decision, but he was afraid to tell me because I wouldn't meet with him anymore. Needless to say, I was very convicted by the Spirit. When I saw him the following Sunday, I pulled him to the side and apologized to him, and assured him that our relationship was not performance based. He burst into tears and grabbed me tightly, and it was in that moment that I was thankful to God that my relationship with Him, is not performance based. The Scriptures make it clear that“God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us.”(Romans 5:8 NRSV). I am only halfway through Root's book, but  I am definitely jiving with it and find it to be a challenging read! Only one warning, while seeking to read this in order to be more effective in Youth Ministry, you may find yourself being transformed in the process!

Should Boys Ride Pink Scooters???

The Chronicles of Aslan Continues......

Ok..uhm I'll readily admit that I've had to work really hard at not freaking out when I saw my son doing "girly" things such as playing with Barbies, or playing dress up. I've tried to master the skill of smoothly redirecting him to more "boyish" things such as football or cars and trucks. Aslan has two older sisters, and ever since he started walking he has tried to keep up with them. Once my daughters were playing dress up, you know, where they dress up in those beautiful princess gowns and try to bring everyone under their control. Well, as they came down the stairs Aslan was behind them wearing a Mermaid outfit! Inwardly, the battle for manhood was raging, but I calmly asked, "Aslan what are you doing?" To which he replied, " Arrrgh, I'm a shark daddy!" My wife and I laughed hysterically for days. Anyways back to my topic, should boys ride pink scooters? I would've normally answered this question with a resounding NO! However, through a turn of events, my opinion has changed.

 I took all 4 of my kids to an indoor playground where they had all sorts of toys that kids could drive themselves crazy with.  After about 45 min. I noticed Aslan zipping back and forth on a blue scooter chasing his sisters. As he paused to catch his breath, a girl slightly younger than him tried to pull the scooter away from him. Aslan snatched it away from her and pointed her towards a pink scooter. I  immediately stood up, just in case I had to prevent an altercation! The little girl began to reach for the scooter again, but Aslan was determined to keep it. He said to her "I'm riding this one, you can ride that one", again pointing to the pink one. The little girl started to cry and her dad came over and tried to redirect her. She started to scream louder and her dad replied, " We're going home!", the girl began to scream louder.  As I watched from a distance I noticed Aslan was intently focused on the girls' dad. As he reached down to pick up his daughter, Aslan stuck out his hand and said "no no no wait. She can have this one."  He immediately got off, as the father of the girl,and I looked on in complete shock. You can probably guess what he did next. Yeah, he went right over to the pink scooter and resumed chasing his sisters. Aslan had every right to keep the bike, and I wasn't going to ask him to give it up. However he willingly gave it up.  Once again my son has shown me a deeper level of goodness. Goodness for him went beyond defending his own right to the blue scooter, to him realizing that in some instances we are called to sacrifice for the sake of others.  So I'll leave it up to you to decide if boys should ride pink scooters or not!

Stealing God's Glory?

Have you ever found it hard to enjoy yourself? No, not like having a good time at a party or having a blast at a concert. I mean really enjoying doing something you are really good at, and being confident about it?  Well, it may not be all that hard for you but somehow along my journey I picked up the notion that being great at something,exhibiting confidence, and experiencing sheer joy while doing it, is being prideful. Deeply etched somewhere inside of my soul was the belief that if I exhibited greatness in any capacity, I would be stealing God's glory. When someone gave me a compliment, I would hide behind the phrases, "It's all about Jesus", "praise God"! As if God were standing over my shoulder watching me with squinted eyes, like security, making sure I didn't steal His glory. However these days I am wading deeper into the river of freedom, and allowing it to carry me.  I am really starting to believe that God wants me to let my light to shine and to do so unashamedly. Never have the words of Marianne Williamson rang truer, 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." by Marianne Williamson

As I sit pondering this on my porch, I can hear Jesus saying ecstatically saying to me, "Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." (Matt. 5:16 NRSV) 

May we all unapologetically be brightly lit signs pointing the way to the Father. As others are strangely attracted to our light, may they receive direction on how to live life to the fullest!

The Chronicles of Aslan

Sorry if you feel misled this has little to do with Narnia, but everything to do with my 3 year old son. His name is Aslan Jo'el Coleman and he is a bright, intelligent, articulate and a hilarious little guy! His timing for humor is impeccable, and it all flows naturally. He doesn't even know he's being funny, well at least half the time.

For the past few weeks he has been trying to convince me to let him take toys to school. One day I caught him trying to quickly shove his Spider-man action figure into his backpack. When we made eye contact his reply was, "it's shontell's", well my immediate reply was "who in the world is Shontell and why are you bringing his toys home!"  He quickly set me straight, "no dad it's show and tell". To which I replied "what, wasn't it show and tell last week?" "Boy you betta take that toy out of your bag!" 

As the next day came around, I just happened to catch him trying to force his batman action figure into his back pocket. He quickly says " shontell", but this time I am able to catch myself before I criticize shontell. So I decided to test Aslan, " Son, how is it that you have show and tell everyday?". Like a good little son He willingly gives it up.

This morning we were running "extra" late getting them to school. As we pulled into the parking lot I quickly got them out of the car and we sprinted through the doors to the main office. Where we were greeted by a teacher who then said to Aslan, "Aslan are you supposed to bring toys to school?" Dang it! This boy almost pulled one over on me. As I turned to look he was carrying his "Batman Plane - Gun" in his hand. Being the good dad that I am, I quietly yelled "Son give me that gun, now get to class!" "You are so gentle with your kids" The principal kindly remarked. As you can guess, I was feeling pretty good about my parenting skills. 

Well in the middle of typing this post, my wife just informed me, "oh by the way today really was show and tell in Aslan's class!"  Once again I am humbled! 

The Prayer of St. Ephrem

Great Lent provides us with the opportunity to practice a much needed self-examination. It gives us a chance to redirect our eyes from scrutinizing those around us, to looking inwardly to see what we have hidden under the covering of a favorable persona. The Prayer of St. Ephrem has proved to be a good x-ray for myself, enabling me to reflect on what's happening in the cracks and crevices of my heart. I am slowly finding courage to be honest with myself about who and where I really am.  

"O Lord and Master of my life, give me not the spirit of sloth, idle curiosity/meddling, lust for power and idle talk.

But grant unto me, Thy servant, a spirit of chastity/integrity, humility, patience and love.

Yes, O Lord and King, grant me to see mine own faults and not to judge my brother. For blessed art Thou unto the ages of ages. Amen." 

- St. Ephrem

Thanks for reading!

Down Sizing!

After being at a desk for almost 2 years, I decided to get rid of it! I wanted something small, and something that wouldn't collect as much clutter. I also wanted something that wouldn't take up a large amount of space. Well after searching around, I decided to join my friend and colleague Joe Johns, in purchasing an Air Desk. I must be honest, I haven't seen anything quite like it and it looked flimsy! However after putting it to the test, I decided to got with it. It is indeed a breath of fresh air! I ordered it online from AirDesk, and it was in my possession within two days! Needless to say the instruction were simple, all the pieces were in the box, and it was a cinch to put together! After putting it together I put my macbook on it and went to work. So far so good, I will keep you posted!

Hell In The Hallways

A few years ago, I heard Joseph Garlington say, "when God closes one door He opens another, but it's hell in the!". The hallway is the in the in between state, the halfway point in our journey! This describes my experience of Great Lent this year. I recognize that in Christ I am complete, but I still must allow Christ to be "complete" in me. St. Paul wrote to the community of the faithful in Galatia, “I labor in birth again until Christ is formed in you”(Galatians 4:19 NKJV). This is in fact the original call of humanity, to be the Image and Likeness of God. Various writers of the Christian Faith have long contended that Image speaks of our  identity and likeness speaks of our purpose. All of us despite where we are in life, are made in the Image of God. However, through sin, pain, hurt and other things we have become unlike God. Lent is a "season" of community repentance, it is an awakening. As we move towards Pascha (Easter Sunday), Lent represents a hallway of sorts, an in between place. It helps us to recognize that I am not, in order that we may become. It is the Journey of the Prodigal Son from a far country back to his father's house. At the Prodigals lowest point of being inhumane, he contemplates on eating pig slop, but at that point he has an awakening, he comes to himself! In a moment of self-reflection he realizes it just makes plain sense to go home. This lent I have had many painful awakenings about where I am in life, and by God's grace I'm on my way home. However, I do not journey alone. Christ is not only cleansing me, but he is cleansing His Church. It is only through repentance (metanoia) that we can truly be transformed and reflect the Imago Dei, the New Humanity.